Tall Towers |
I am officially a sophomore in college. I survived being a freshman for the second and last time in my life. My freshman year was a little different than the average persons. Mid semester of my fall semester I applied to a college half way across the country and.... I got in. It was a church school and one that would require me to be 24 hours away from home, but it also sounded really fun. So I decided to go after I finished the semester I was in. It was scary, and exciting all at the same time. I would be living in an apartment with 5 other girls, I would be sharing a room, and living without a car. All things I had never done before. Despite all these things I packed my bags and after Christmas break my dad and I got on a plane to fly to a state neither of us had ever been to. We got there and my dad helped me organize my new home for the next four months then I had to say "see ya later" to my dad which was really hard. But things quickly began to look up as I bonded with my roommates and hung out with some of the few friends that I knew from home or church camps.
The start of classes was great I met lots of great people and even some cute guys *wink wink*. As the semester went on I continued to grow my relationships with my friends from home and church camps but also began to have some really great friendships with people in my classes and especially one of my roommates and a close friend of hers. I began to go to parties (hold on I know what you are thinking this girl went to a church school and started partying????? These parties were different, no alcohol was there and if it was it must have not been a lot because I only encountered people who had been drinking a number of times so they must have drank before. These parties were just loud music, cool lights, and a lot of people dancing. My kind of party.). At these parties I began to be more confident in myself. I didn't stop dancing from the moment we would step out of our apartment to go to the party, until the moment my head hit the pillow. I was comfortable when people commented on my dancing or when people gathered around my friends and I to dance. At the end of most parties my friends and I were still full of energy. At this point we would usually go do something with people we had met from the party. This was always a blast. The people we met were chill and fun, a very good combination. My roommate became my favorite dance partner and one of my most favorite people (I'll have to tell you more about her later because she is awesome). All in all these parties were almost always my favorite part of my weekends and something I would look forward to throughout the week. I fell in love with my classes throughout the semester. I fell in love with the people I met, but most unexpected I fell in love with the state that part of me thought I would despise. I learned so much throughout the semester. I learned how to be independent but also how to depend on others. I learned how to live with others and how to share, which can be very challenging with 6 girls and 4 girls in one bathroom. I learned how to embrace little adventures. Like walking a mile in the snow to get to class, or finding random hills to sled down. I learned how to be happy when me or my friends had little victories. Like carrying 7 bags of groceries from the store to the apartment without having them break, getting to class on time, or making yourself an "adult meal". I learned to experience things before you judge them. If you didn't already know I'm a girl from a small southern town. It is very humid, and rarely gets below 55 degrees in the winter. So I can't say that I did not judge the very cold town up north that I was moving to before I got there. The snow can be a lot more fun than I had anticipated. Most of all I learned it is okay to become attached to people even if you will only be there for a little while. You can build a friendship in four months that will last forever, I know I did.
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I love you but sometimes you make me really jealous. You seem amazing and I wish I could meet you. You have taken care of my best friend when I couldn't be there. She talks about you a lot, and it is all super kind words. She says that she has had so many fun times with you and that you have made her first year of college memorable. You were there when she aced her first mid term and when she really missed home for the first time. You were there during her first big college party to make sure crazy guys stayed away but that she had fun dancing all night long. You were there when she was stressed during finals week. You were there for all the things I couldn't be. I am so thankful for you. You gave me a little bit of peace when she would call me and tell me she was having a hard time. I knew you would be there for her. She would call me later that same day and tell me you brought her ice cream. You were there when she wouldn't listen to me. When 8 hours and now 24 just seemed entirely too far away I knew that on two different sides of the country we would both be okay.
To my best friend thank you for always answering your phone even when I needed you at 3am. Thank you for carrying my skirt when I couldn't carry my own. Thank you for showing me what the meaning of true friendship is. I love you more than words could ever describe. 9 out of 10 people say that your first semester of college or away from home is the hardest. I can say that I am one of those 9 people. I went to a university two hours from home. I lived really close to extended family. Which was awesome because I had never been able to be that close to them. They were super caring and made sure that I was always okay. Despite this the first few weeks of school I cried all the time. I felt lonely and friendless. It felt like everyone already had their clicks and that they didn't need anyone else in them. I have always been someone who made friends relatively easy and have always been blessed with an amazing friend group. With my friends being hours away I had such a hard time. Until one day. I was in my Dance Appreciation class, which was truly my happy place. We were supposed to partner up with someone and so me and a girl next to me got together. We learned African Tribal Dancing that day. It was hilarious and fun. The next week we partnered up again but were asked to join up with another group and this is when I knew everything would be okay. The other two girls were amazing. From then on the 4 of us were great friends. We went to lunches together, hung out together on Friday nights and had a sleepover. They were truly my saving grace. After meeting them I was able to become closer to the girls I had become friends with in my other classes because they had given me the confidence to do so. I spent lots and lots of time with my family and friends and it was great.
At the end of the semester though I decided to go to an out of state church school. I am here now and loving every second of it. God definitely has a hand in my life and is guiding and supporting me through everything. Moral of the story: it is okay to be sad the first few weeks, just try to branch out and make friends. Trust in the Lord through everything. Be so so so greatful to your parents or parental figures. Let them take pictures of you on your new dorm room bed. Call them and tell them thank you a lot. They love you. One more thing, find someone at school that can be your best friend/ mom or dad. Love ya lots, remember to stand tall like the towers! :) Climbing to the top of the tree. You may have seen a quote about this on my home page, or maybe not. Either way I hope you enjoy this.
When I was young and going through my first phases of becoming boy crazy someone very dear to me gave me this analogy and ever since I have tried to think of it when I am losing confidence in my self worth. I would first like to say that all girls are royalty because we were made by the most amazing king that will ever live, our Heavenly Father, our Lord, our God. We are all worth so much. You know how it is sometimes hard to get the best apples because they are at the top of the tree? Well, us girls should try to be like those hard to get to apples. The ones that may be hard to get to but it's for good reason... because they are awesome. We need to try and be our best selves so that guys have to climb to get to us. Or in other words be their best selves so that we are getting everything we deserve out of love and so are they. You should want to be better for your future husband.. So we need to start now by raising our standards and expecting more out of ourselves. There are some awesome guys our there and we all deserve one but we should make ourselves awesome too. A relationship should be awesome for both people involved. When you are your best self and confident about your self worth you are your best self in relationships with other people too. I encourage you all to pray and ask God to help you on this journey to becoming your best self. I promise God can do amazing things, he sure has for me. :) Also there is a great book that has helped me start this process. It's called "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy. Check out the Bible and Book of Mormon too. All good sources. Love you all. Remember how beautiful you are. If you ever have any questions feel free to contact me, my information is located on the Contact page. Do you remember what you were doing on August 2nd two years ago? I know I don't. This made me think. We should take life slower. One day at a time. We want to be able to remember our life. That's part of why I write, so I can remember what I was thinking and feeling throughout different times of my life.
This last week me and my family were going to Disney World! We were so excited! My mom took so much time making sure we had everything we may need! We had an early flight Tuesday morning and so we were staying in a hotel Monday night by the airport we were flying out of! When we finally got to our hotel we were all hungry and craving Mexican food. A receptionist at the hotel said there was a Mexican restaurant near us that was awesome! We drove over and were seated as soon as we got there. The lady was right the food was awesome; however what happened next was not. When we walked out to the car I noticed something of my moms outside the car on the concrete. I asked how they let it drop out of the car. By this time my brother had climbed into his spot in the back seat and told us that all our bags were gone! How scary this was to hear! Me and my mom rushed into the restaurant to ask if there were security cameras. Unfortunately there were not. My mom called the police, my dad called the insurance agency, and many more people were called as the night went on. My mom said we needed to say a prayer so my brothers and I kneeled to pray in a circle right there in the parking lot. We asked for safety, and wisdom to know what we should do next, we also thanked the Lord for the food we had just eaten, and the safety we had been blessed with. The police came and took a report and then we drove to Walmart so that we could have the basics and make it to Disney World. We bought toothbrushes, some makeup, hairbrushes, hair gel, razors, and two outfits for each of us. (Except me because my main suitcase was not stolen, just some sentimental things that were in someone else's suitcase, my tolitures, and some other random things I had for the plane.) We didn't get much sleep that night but with a lot of prayers from us and friends we made it to the airport! We loved Disney! We thank God for our trials and all the lessons we were able to learn! The most important thing is that we were all safe! There were many other ways that, that situation could have turned out! We love the Lord and I love my family! -travel to Africa (open up schools, help bring clean water, bring them the love of Jesus, and more)
-become a successful and influential teacher -get married to the man of my dreams, in an LDS temple -have children -adopt children -foster children -travel to every state in the US -get kissed in the rain -change someones life (even if it's my own) -serve a mission with my husband - to be continued... Pretty Little Liars finale- My first reaction consisted of WHAT? Then I moved to HOW? Finally I am moving into to the "it all makes sense stage". I have thoroughly enjoyed the show to this point and I still think it is brilliant. I did not start watching the show when it first came on. I was young and have always limited myself on what shows I should and should not watch (longer story for a different time). With these limitations I felt the show was probably inappropriate for my viewing. Suddenly all the wonderful talk about the show caught up to me, so I started this wonderful journey on Netflix. I am almost positive I watched the first two seasons on Netflix and that the third I skipped over the first half or possibly the whole thing because I had become addicted and had to keep watching even before they added what I needed to be caught up onto Netflix. A friend probably explained what I had missed to me, I can't remember the exact details. Anyways from the moment I started the show I have been hooked, I can not fathom how people would stop watching the show mid-season. I have bailed on shows mid- season before but this was different. There was so much you still needed answers to. Like aren't you going to stick around and find out who A is???
Now we know. A is CeCe Drake, or Charles, or Charlotte. Whatever tickles your fancy, they are all the same person. The motives of CeCe being A totally makes sense to me. She was confined nearly her whole life, the only family she was able to see was her mom and one brief visit with her siblings for a birthday once, she was with people that were a little mentally unstable all the time and she had sexuality issues that only got addressed when her mom was there to visit her. She did not do this to hurt the girls or get revenge. She did this because it had become a game, a world she did not want to escape. She had become addicted to using the girls as her dolls. She herself even said "I love my dolls." Sara is Red Coat and the Black Widow. Part of me never really trusted Sara until their Senior Prom and somehow as soon as I trust people is the exact moment everything hits the fan. Hold up I have to talk about how creepy their theme for prom was. I actually really enjoy mythical characters and fairy tales. It could make for a great theme for a party or dance but the way everyone in that high school interpreted it is crazy. Ugh so many scary mask. Would it really be a Pretty Little Liars school dance without a creepy interpreted theme and scary mask though? My answer is NOPE. It is has now become a requirement for their dances or parties or anything else on the show for that matter. Back to Sara, I felt so bad for Emily. She finally found someone she felt she could trust after all this mess and then BOOM she turns into the villain. ? I know heir are multiple questions still on the table. Hopefully we get some more answers in the next season. Oh yeah, that. Another season. I knew the show wouldn't end thre, but I didn't expect for it to still leave me at such a cliff hanger. Props to you Pretty Little Liars. 5 years later... ugh this is going to be hard to wait for. Tell me your views on the show and the season 6 finale, I would love to hear them. The summer after your Senior year of high school is just weird. You are trying to spend as much time with your friends as possible, even people you aren't super close to. You feel you may need to see them one last time. So you comment on their Insta post or text them with lunch plans that may never happen but it's the thought that counts. Your true friends though you try to see all the time, everyday if possible. Since the summer after your Senior year is so busy with sports team tryouts, shopping for essentials, college orientation, looking for jobs, and other things that will help you begin this next chapter of your life smoothly you may not get to see them as much as you had hoped. Those times you do hang out though cherish them, every second of them. They are so important because at the end of the summer you begin to realize it may be six months before I see this person again and you really start to think about how hard it is going to be without them. This thought will probably be in the back of your mind for the last part of Senior year and the whole summer but it's those last few weeks that it is a thought you dwell on.... A LOT!
Back to how weird it is though. Like you have spent your whole life going through the same routine every year. Different vacations and different groups of friends but the basics have stayed the same. About August you begin to hear back to school commercials that you say are playing entirely too soon (like I have four weeks left let me enjoy them stress free), you get some new clothes, a new pair of sandals, some cute new running shoes, then you shop for school supplies. You try and find a good backpack that will last while still looking fabulous, cute pens, some folders, a great new purse because you can never have to many. Anyways you get the point. But the summer after your Senior year it's different you aren't just shopping for clothes but stuff for a dorm and big text books that you know are going to be a pain to carry around. You start to pick out bedding for a small dorm bed. You message your roommates and hope they are as cool as you. The vibe of the whole summer is just different than any before but if you play your cards right it can also be the best one yet. |
"Her soul is a kaleidoscope.
Bursting with every shade and hue, but shift your gaze ever so slightly And she's something entirely new." - e.h. ![]() Between every two pines is a doorway to a new world. - John Muir
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